Get Your SHIFT Together: Hunt the Tension
You know that thing you don’t want to look at? The part of the problem that makes you slightly nauseous when you think about it? The conversation you’ve been avoiding, the question that keeps you up at 3am, the gnawing feeling that something’s not right?
That’s exactly where you need to go.
Most people treat discomfort like a warning sign to back off. “This feels bad, so I must be going the wrong direction.” Not all discomfort is the same though.
In the context of getting unstuck, discomfort is where the really juicy information is. It’s your nervous system saying, “Hey, there’s something important here that contradicts what you’ve been telling yourself.” It’s the friction that happens when reality doesn’t match your expectations, beliefs, or assumptions.
That tension also tells you where your hidden assumptions live.
Let’s say you’ve already stated your problem clearly (you did do that, right?).
Now it’s time to hunt down the source. And the hunting ground is wherever you feel the most resistance.
Here’s how it works:
If you’re stuck on a work problem, ask: Where’s the tension? Is it with a specific person? A deadline? A resource constraint? Now dig one level deeper: What assumption has to be true for that tension to exist?
Example:
Tension: “I’m frustrated that my teammate isn’t responding to my messages.”
Hidden assumption: “If someone doesn’t respond quickly, it means they don’t respect my time.”
Bonus assumption: “I can’t move forward without their input.”
The tension just revealed the invisible architecture of your thinking. Those assumptions? They’ve been shaping your choices all along.
If you’re stuck on a belief or worldview issue, ask: What makes me defensive or uncomfortable? That’s where your core assumptions are hiding.
Example:
Tension: “I feel anxious when people suggest I should delegate more.”
Hidden assumption: “If I’m not personally involved in everything, quality will suffer.”
Bonus assumption: “My value comes from being indispensable.”
Resistance isn’t always stubbornness; your brain is wired to protect a hidden assumption it thinks you need to survive.
The hard part – you have to actually stay with the tension long enough to figure out what’s underneath it.
Most people feel the discomfort and immediately try to resolve it, rationalize it, or distract themselves from it. That’s exactly how you stay stuck.
The tension is trying to show you something. It’s pointing directly at what you’re taking for granted – the assumption that’s keeping you trapped.
You have to be willing to follow it into the dark.
So here’s your challenge:
Go back to what you stated clearly yesterday. Now ask yourself:
Where do I feel the most resistance or discomfort about this?
What would have to be true for me to feel this way?
What am I afraid might happen if that assumption is wrong?
Write it down. Don’t pretty it up. Don’t make it make sense yet.
Just hunt the tension. Find the assumption. Name it.
Because you can’t question what you won’t acknowledge.